In my youth my obsession with having numerous friends was extreme. I was the person getting invited to everyone’s parties, going to everyone’s sleepovers, hanging out with everyone on the weekends… and I absolutely loved it!
I thrived on feeling needed and wanted by my “friends”. Yet, it isn’t until you go through real struggles that young adulthood often brings that you figure out what friendship truly is, and more importantly who falls into the category of being a true friend.
Most of the people I grew up with and made life plans with have fallen off with the exception of 3 to 5 people, and honestly it was for the better. They were the people I needed in that moment to get me through various moments in my life, but they were not the people I was supposed to carry into my future.
It wasn’t until college that I met my forever friends, a small group of people who have proven themselves to be loyal, honest, and genuine. A group of people who reciprocate when it comes to being present and giving of themselves.
Of course it was an adjustment. I went from texting dozens of people each day and hanging out with dozens of people throughout the week to texting and gathering with 1-2 people a week. Yet, the adjustment has decreased my stress and my drama. I have quality relationships with the people I call friends and not these superficial relationships that yield no return. I have a group of people in my life that I can rely on that makes me feel so secure.
That is not to say I am opposed to forming new friendships, but it is to say that being nice, having some things in common, or having a conversation are not the only requirements anymore to become my friend. I am worthy of having high quality people in my life and so I’m willing to spend a lot of time determining whether or not someone will be good for me before I invest in befriending them.