I’m far too organized of an individual for things to not work out according to my plans. I think, analyze, and prepare to ensure that things happen as they should. So when they don’t happen as they should, or as I think they should….well let’s just say I don’t cope too well. Why? Because I’m so invested in my plan and the outcome I desire, that anything less than that just isn’t acceptable.
But I’m starting to learn that I’m not as in control as I’ve always thought. And believe me it’s turning out to be a very challenging lesson. Disappointment and dissatisfaction have become regulars as of recently. And I’ve had the audacity to assume that it was because God thought so little of me that he had turned his back on me. But rather he thought so much of me that he had been using my circumstances- the ones he allowed to occur- to teach me that he was the one controlling my future and thus relieving me of the minuscule stresses and burdens of this life. I had become so lost in my ideal view of how life should be that I failed to consult God- the one who gave me this life in the first place- about what his will and desire for my life was.
At this point my life is far from perfect and it certainly doesn’t model the life I thought I’d be living at this stage. But this is the life God has granted me. And everything in it including the things that are less than favorable and the things that I don’t understand are a part of His greater plan for me. And God’s plans are always spectacular.
So it is my aim to relinquish the control over to God. I’ll let him handle things and stop preoccupying myself with circumstances that God has already worked out.